Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
