I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I have fence marks all over my body
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I need a beard to bite.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
