Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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