Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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