if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
