that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
