Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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