you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
