Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
MIDGETS
????
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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