HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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