I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize