Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
