We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
