Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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