Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I love you. Go after that dick
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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