It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
