Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
