If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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