i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
