waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
