im holly from the hills drunk
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
