I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
