found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
