I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
