actually, I'm a sock model
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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