Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Watching her eat just hurts me
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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