Do you still have your period?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
