Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
