THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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