Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
