My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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