I wish my penis had an off switch
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
