You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
