Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
