I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
birth control should be required to get into college
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
