I can tuck mytits in my pants
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
tell me about the eggs
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
