$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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