he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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