i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
