just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
you had me at cake vodka
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
