why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
well, you know. whores of a feather.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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