Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
