About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
