Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So vagazzling was a success
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