Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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