i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize