hotel room ftw
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Dignity is for republicans.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
