I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
