jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
