So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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