I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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