I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
