Rock
Scissors
Fuck
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Found your dick twin last night
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
