I saw his package. It spoke to me.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
