I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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