you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
