is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
