Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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