Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize