Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
