Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
